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The Power of E.Q. audiobook by Patrick King

In the real world, we are always setting boundaries within the context of other people’s needs, limits, desires, goals, and perspectives. When exactly something goes “too far” can sometimes be hard to discern, and there is plenty of grey area between “assertive” and “just plain rude.” We want to be polite but also take care of our interests and not be, well, too polite!

If striking this balance feels almost impossible, you might try a useful framework that comes from the dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) model that therapists sometimes use with their clients. It’s called the DEARMAN acronym, and it can help you stay clear, organized, and mindful during the process of drawing those lines between you and other people. Think of it as a template that can help you say no while still maintaining good rapport and politeness.

If you are in a situation where you find it difficult to say no to the requests of others, or make your own requests, then this can help. Many times, relationship conflict comes down to just this kind of imbalance—either we grow resentment because we acquiesce more than we are happy to, we fail to speak up and say what we really want, or we find ourselves saying no clumsily and causing offense and disconnect.

Keep the words flowing by buying me a coffee.

Categories: Voice over Work