Customer Reviews

I have literally thousands of 5 star reviews for the narration of various works on Audible, and I give most of them zero credence. We should doubt the honesty of reviews on any platform where you can effectively buy reviews on the black market and make a profit from the reviews themselves without selling any books.

For actual client reviews, you could look at my Upwork profile at

That said, below are some of my favorites, for your enjoyment. These types of reviews, IMHO, are about as useful as a client list where I try to impress you with the Fortune 500 companies I have worked for without giving some idea of the scope, satisfaction, and specific comments from the “client.”

Monotone plodding American drawl delivered without change of pace, pitch, tone, inflection or emphasis. Reader appears to have the reading ability of a 14 year old. Should stick to reading Hemmingway. Stumbles and mumbles his way through the ‘tricky’ words. Mispronunciations abound. Reads as though he has neither interest in, nor comprehension of, the written text. Can be heard stifling yawns. Attempts at French pronunciation embarrassing. Like most of the ‘founding Fathers’ Thomas Paine was an erudite and articulate Englishmen who spoke with an English accent. The perspicuity of his insight is completely lost when each word is delivered in the same monotonous dreary passive voice , rendering the whole incomprehensible. Returning for swap.

Thomas Paine Classic Collection
By: Thomas Paine
Narrated by: Russell Newton