Are Your Touches Sending the Right Message? from The Science of Attraction By: Patrick King

Is it a surprise that touch has a huge scientific basis for attraction? It’s what causes our knees to wobble and butterflies to flutter around in our stomachs.

01:35 Break the Touch Barrier
04:21 Friendly Touching
06:36 Plausible Deniability Touching
10:32 Nuclear Touching

13:18 The Right Combination

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The lightest and subtlest touch, done correctly, can be the difference between seeing someone as a sexual object versus forever seeing them as only a friend. It can be a brush on the shoulder, a hand on the knee, and even a lingering handshake.

In the best (or worst) scenario, a touch can even make you light-headed and faint—maybe that’s the origin of the phrase starry-eyed love?

So many people live in their heads. We rush around our daily lives, talking, working, living in abstract and hypothetical spaces, thinking, thinking, thinking . . . but we can be broken out of that spell when someone lightly touches us and reminds us that, at the end of the day, we are human beings who have bodies.

With how important touching is to courtship and attraction, it makes sense that there is an optimal way to touch others to enhance the attraction they feel for you. In fact, there are optimal ways, combinations, and types of touching that you should use to seduce others, male or female.

Your first step is to take a deep breath and break the touch barrier in general. Here’s why: normally, acquaintances only touch in a particular, careful, unambiguous, mutually understood way. They shake hands or hug when they greet, or they might give a slap on the shoulder in acknowledgment of a joke or a job well done. These are all common and accepted ways of touching among people who know each other well and are friends or colleagues. There’s only a certain threshold the touching will reach in a platonic manner.

Touching someone beyond that threshold instantly raises an eyebrow internally and instantly puts you into a different light. Touch alone can plant the seed of courtship. Attraction only works if you are seen as a sexual being, and sexual beings touch. Touching beyond that threshold sends an unambiguous message that there is attraction and interest. It’s as close as you can get to saying that you are interested without using actual words. You wouldn’t have to tell someone, “I like you and want to date you,” if you always gave them extended hugs and put your hand on their knee during a movie. Think of it as taking that first step on the road that leads to full-on, reciprocal affection.

So when someone senses that, it’s natural that they will begin to consider the toucher in that light as well. Touching also implies boldness, sexuality, and not being passive or shy—all of which are typically attractive in the opposite sex. Someone who is comfortable in their own skin can inspire others to relax into theirs, as well.

Subconscious and psychologically proven methods to attract others, spark chemistry and create affection and love. There is a definitive science to attraction, and it turns out we’ve been doing it wrong the entire time. This book is your textbook and field manual for (1) how to flirt better, (2) have better sex, and (3) plant the seeds of romantic love in whomever you want. Understand the instinctual and evolutionary triggers of attraction.

The Science of Attraction (2nd Edition) is an in-depth look at human attraction and what draws people together. It dives into peer-reviewed research, combined with the insightful and straightforward observations of a renowned dating coach – Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and acclaimed speaker and coach.

Together, this book is the ultimate guide to inform, diagnose, and recommend highly actionable steps to take your dating life to the next level. No tricks, no manipulation; only getting inside the human psyche. Find the shortcuts to powerful chemistry.

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